When I set my mind on God, I always have a feeling that I am tapping into something vast and ancient; something far more complex than my perceptions can grasp. I can just sense it as I do it – and I feel almost a sense of vertigo as I become suddenly aware of how small I am. When I open my mind to God’s spirit, I get a sense of myself as being peripheral to the world, as being subject to God, rather than the world and God being subject to me. It’s not a thing that I decide to do; it comes automatically. Every time I really open my mind to the Holy Spirit, I see the axis on which the world functions as being outside of myself; I see God as ‘universe central’, and not myself. Since my own perception of the world is unique and is centralised within my mind, it should seem that the whole world spills out from my mind, and as such, that my mind is the origin of it. It does, when I do not let God into my mind. But when I do invite the Holy Spirit, I no longer see the world as a product of my perceptions. I see myself as being a product of the world; I see myself as an object working within it. I feel this deep-seated conviction that the world is not subject to my perception of it, but that I am subject to the perception of another — God.
Monthly Archives: January 2011